Persistence

Another long week, still finding full time working quite exhausting but I am hoping I'll will get used to it again - it will just take a little persistence.

Persistence is definitely something I have lots of, dealing with this horrible disease. As if the constant pain and discomfort isn't enough, the flare ups are just agonising. I wish our British weather would decide what to do with itself - the damp this week has certainly not helped. I don't really know how to explain the pain, imagine be covering head to toe in bruises and then being bashed about; on top of that every movement you make feeling your bones grind together. That's as close as I can get to any type of description. This week has been bad, I've relied on hubby to help me in and out of the shower. He's been able to walk or drive me to work but as he started his new job this week I've been left t get home on my own. I am very fortunate that on the days where I wouldn't have made it home walking one of my lovely colleagues drove me home. I don't think they could ever know how grateful I was of that this week.

Hubby's job is going well so that's all good - he has a smile on his face again. That makes a difference and gives me another reason to keep up the persistence of being off all the drugs to try and conceive.

At 3am this morning it was a different story; I can not describe the pain I was in apart from the fact it is so much pain that I actually felt like I was going to be sick; but was too stiff and unable to move. The frustration of this is GRRRRRR!!!!! I lay awake in pain not knowing what to do with myself until 5am when hubby wakes up and asks me if I am OK. It was as much as I could manage not to burst into tears, he got up and got me some paracetamol; whilst not make much difference at least it helped me get another couple of hours sleep.

I will keep persisting as I keep telling myself 'It's all about getting from A to B' and it will all be worth it when we have that little baby in our arms. I really hope its not going to take too much longer though.

So a chill out day in my PJ's today and a meal out tonight with some old work friends which I am really looking forward to. It will be nice to catch up as its been a long time and will be something to take my mind off this pain for a while. I think hubby is looking forward to me going out, he is having a curry which my mum made for him on his birthday which we've frozen. I don't do curry so he doesn't get much chance of having it, bless him! So his night except from chauffeuring me will be curry with Lets dance for Sport Relief, with the dog for company.

Tomorrow he is working so spending the day with my mum and then seeing my mother-in-law tomorrow night. So Happy Mothers Day to all you Mummies out there (with any luck I'll be one by next mothers day) but a special happy mothers day to my mummy. Thank you for looking after me and worrying about me all the time, but I'm a big girl now so you don't have to worry about me quite as much. Love you xxx