Hi, Thanks for viewing my blog. It lets me have a rant and I may even help someone along the way. Got the idea to do a blog following using an Arthritis Forum for the first time at

I suffer from Psoriatic Arthritis which is very demanding in all aspects of my life and this is my story on how I deal with it on a day to day basis.

I have been spending lots of time recently researching arthritis and pregnancy, there isnt loads of information out there and the most helpful thing i have found to date is forums and hearing other peoples story. This just confirms to me why I am 'blogging', if someone like me wants to know they are not on their own.

Monday, 30 January 2012

Map Please?

OK, so I know I pretty much live at the hospital but funny enough, it doesn't mean I know know where Neurology Clinic A is. So with no map on my appointment letter for my 1st neurology appointment I figure that we need to go to the neurology department. Apparently not! So back in the car to park at the correct end of the hospital and we made the appointment with seconds to spare. How would someone new to the hospital get on? Map Please?

I kept myself busy today with my mum as my appointment wasn't until 5pm, but as it got closer I did start to get a bit nervous. I was exhausted before I got in the car to leave for the hospital and don't know how I would have coped without Hubby's support.

The consultant was very nice and thorough, we discussed my medical circumstances and history and unlike my recent visit to A&E he didn't imply that I was crazy for not wanting to do or take anything which will provide a risk or complications to trying to conceive/pregnancy. After a long discussion the consultant examined me; this was the worst part. You'd think knowing that the patient suffers from arthritis you would be gentle - No, obviously not; he was quite rough and instead of tapping to get my reflexes it was more of a hit. OUCH! I am hurting now and was already having a bad day with the pain so I hope I will be able to sleep tonight as had an awful night last night - crying at 3am because of the pain. As much as I wanted to wake hubby up for comforting I stopped myself as he gets up so early for work; it wouldn't be fair.

All in all the appointment was good; awaiting some blood results from last week still as he thinks something like Lupus could be a possibility. He wants me to have an EEG and we will take things from there, so now its just a case of waiting for the appointment. In the meantime he sees no reason why I cant work; but advises I do not drive still until investigations are complete.

My wonderful husband has made me dinner since we got home and I am planning on a relaxing night and day tomorrow.

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Giving Up Sex or Food?

I am absolutely exhausted today; struggling to keep my eyes open and don't really feel like I am even in this world today.

I ventured out yesterday with my sister-in-law; it was quite surreal as I haven't really been out in weeks. We went into town shopping for birthday presents. Maybe I was a little too adventurous as I am certainly paying the price today; in a lot of pain. We were in town a few hours and I only had one fit which was minimal and had helped alleviate some of the worry I had about going out. This is good to know as week after next I am hopefully going back to work providing the neurologist appointment goes OK on Monday.

I thought I would be quite apprehensive about Monday but at the moment I am feeling fine about it actually quite excited as it means that I am that much closer to going back to work.

When in town yesterday it was amazing looking around at what was going on around me; I have been used to the same 4 walls but there were people. I had a little giggle when I heard two Young girls talking about what they would give up first, 'Sex or Food?'

Hmmmm, what a question? In order to achieve the desired outcome of having a family giving up Sex would not be to helpful at the moment; somewhat of a necessity in order to make a baby but food is important to stay healthy for a baby to grow as well. 

It is quite amusing when trying for a baby how Sex becomes part of your routine; luckily it has not yet become a chore. However my tired hubby may disagree. Its best to stay relaxed about it and not put too much pressure on ourselves  and we have found ourselves quite literally laughing throughout the deed.

We have a 60th party to go to next weekend so my lovely husband took me into town again today so that I could get an outfit; but as I feel so BLAH at the moment I ended up getting grumpy with my body and I have decided I will just find something in the wardrobe at home. I didn't mean to be ungrateful but I bet that's how I sounded. I'm just not all that comfortable with my body at the moment; its winter so you naturally eat that little more to keep warm, plus I comfort eat when I feel low which is obviously how I am feeling after sitting at home for so long. I will get back on track once I am back at work but there is only so much I can think about and on top of everything else at the moment; eating habits just aren't at the top of my list. So the answer should probably be food, but maybe I will just start by giving up the worst foods. Dessert, sweets, chocolate!

My plan for the rest of the weekend is to rest up in the warm in readiness for Mondays neurology appointment as well as a friends birthday meal Sunday evening but that should be quite relaxed.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Rheumy Visit

Rheumy appointment today and it wasn't too bad. For some reason my appointment had been booked in with a different consultant; someone I've never seen before. This put me on edge a bit as I was a bit apprehensive at how they would handle my questions about the possibility of this being Lupus. 50 minutes after my appointment time I was seen and the consultant was lovely. Whilst she did not think Lupus was likely -  she did not dismiss it, and ensured that sufficient blood tests were ordered. As it happens I had an ANA test (which tests for Lupus) back in 2004; this was negative but from what I've read can happen and can be different when tested at a different time. So the bloods which have been taken today will hopefully provide some answers one way or another.

I was even brave with my blood tests today and chanced my luck with the pathologists at the hospital trying to put my previous bad experiences behind me. They got my blood easy and its now all out the way just a waiting game for the result and a little bit of a bruise.

So my Mum spent the morning running me around and when we got back I made her lunch but now I am absolutely exhausted and looking forward to getting in bed tonight; a well deserved lay in for me tomorrow.

Monday, 16 January 2012

Are we nearly there yet?

So unsuccessful first cycle of trying to conceive definitely not as easy as people make you think. But new cycle and armed with a fertility testing kit; we are going to make sure that we have the best chance possible to conceive this time round. My arthritis whilst still nagging at me is manageable so the best time for this surely? I am trying not to think about it too much and just wait for it to happen but it feels as though the longer it takes the more chance it is that my arthritis will stop me from to doing this. How long can I really manage drug free? After just getting past a horrendous flare up and dealing with everything else which comes with having an auto-immune disease (such as general coughs and colds which cling on forever); plus my fits which have resurfaced - I'm just not sure I could manage another flare up. Physically I'd probably cope but emotionally not so sure. So as much as we all hate car journeys when you get 'Are we nearly there yet?', all I want to know is 'Are we?'

This has seemed such a long journey even to this point; in planning to come of medication of which some had to be a whole year, then tests, then eventually being able to try but it not being as easy as you had thought (or hoped). So nearly 1 and a half years on from deciding we wanted a family I cant help but find myself getting slightly impatient. All in good time though, well at least that's what people keep telling me.

Appointment with rheumy next week, a little bit nervous as want to discuss the possibility of all my medical history actually indicating something such as Lupus. Luckily they are really nice and will hopefully listen to my thoughts and investigate but there is a bit of doubt in my mind that they might just dismiss the idea without actually considering it a possibility.
Then the following week neurology appointment which will hopefully mean I can return to work at long last.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Quiet at the moment

I haven't been blogging much lately as things have been rather quiet here. Most of my days are spent in front of the TV making use of my DVD collection. I feel quite lonely throughout the day so my afternoon with my Mum Tuesday was fantastic and being in a different 4 walls was good. Other than that I am making the most of the evenings and weekends when I get to see hubby, just having someone else here makes such a difference; I don't even care if he spends the night on his PlayStation!

My new phone arrived yesterday so that has taken up some of my time too; it takes so long to set up a new phone, or maybe it is just me not great with technology?

Any ideas how else I can occupy my time until I get myself back to work?

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Alone again, exciting stuff!

Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.

Well apart from my normal struggles I thoroughly enjoyed the Christmas holidays, mainly for the fact that I had company. It has been nice even though I have had days of not doing anything, I haven't been alone. So hubby has just left to go back to work, I feel quite sad at the prospect of being stuck at home on my own again.

But on the plus side I am breathing better and (touch wood) have eventually got rid of my cold which has clung on to me since September. So a week of antibiotics and steroids has made my chest much better, yay! The fits while still occurring seem to have died down and every day I am getting closer to my hospital appointment.

So an afternoon with the TV at least hubby only has a half day today.